


Point of No Return

by why_didnt_i_get_any_soup



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Character Death, F/F, Fix-It, Implied Relationships, Kissing, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, This fic is so soft, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-30 21:38:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19036084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup/pseuds/why_didnt_i_get_any_soup
Summary: Clint goes over the cliff and Natasha is there to comfort the Barton family.





	Point of No Return

**Author's Note:**

> To me, it didn't make sense to have Steve return the crystals after the funeral. I think that was just because they wanted to end with Steve and Peggy. In this fic, Steve returns the crystals before the funeral.

When Clint launched himself at the cliff, all Natasha could think about was Clint’s family—Laura, Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel. It was not a long thought, just a flash of images, but in that split second of hesitation, he was gone. She launched herself toward the edge, reaching for him, stopping just short of falling over herself. If Clint’s family lost Clint, they couldn’t lose her too. She fell down, but before she could see anything, she was waking up in a pool, the soul stone in her hand. Clint was nowhere to be seen. She wanted to cry, to let out a pained wail, but she couldn’t; she didn’t have time. Now that she had the stone, she had to get it back to the rest of the group, lest Clint’s death be for naught. This plan had to work. And the team couldn’t see her cry; they never had before and they weren’t going to start now.

But, everyone could read her face when they transported back and Clint was not with her. They didn’t have to ask. Clint was gone. It was the price of the soul stone. Entirely too heavy of a price on her soul, but it was for the good of half the entire goddamn universe.

So, when Natasha’s phone rang and Laura’s face popped up on the screen after Bruce snapped his fingers, Natasha told Laura that she would explain everything in person.

“Where’s Clint?” Laura had asked, increasingly desperate when Natasha didn’t give a straight answer.

“I’ll explain everything when I see you,” she promised.

Before she could say another word, the compound exploded.

The fight was long, but they had so much back up. And then, the alien armies turned to dust, just like Natasha had seen her friends do before. But it was over. Only, Tony was gone, his face charred and his heartbeat giving out right before their eyes. Pepper was crying, Peter was crying, Rhodey was crying. Natasha, hardened by the loss of Clint, didn’t cry, even if she wanted to.

Then, she began the drive to Missouri, speeding the entire way.

Exhausted, finally, Natasha pulled up to the farm with her stomach dropping as her borrowed Stark car bounced around on the long, unpaved driveway. How the hell was she supposed to tell Laura that Clint was dead? Gone forever? It was going to be impossible. She had killed scores of people—innocent and otherwise—been kidnapped, been near death hundreds of times, and yet this was going to be the hardest thing she’d ever done. How was she going to see the faces of those three beautiful children and tell them that their father was never coming back? She could maybe explain the circumstances to Laura and Laura maybe might understand it, at least on a conceptual level, even if she wouldn’t be able to accept it.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself to knock on the door, but before her knuckles could make contact with the wood, the door was being flung open. There was Laura, looking as beautiful as the last time Nat saw her, tears in her eyes. She grabbed Nat and pulled her into a hug, Laura’s scent engulfing her as her nose buried into the crook of Laura’s neck. If she wasn’t there to deliver such horrible news, Natasha might have found some comfort there.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” Laura asked through her tears.

Natasha couldn’t respond, couldn’t move, but Laura took her reticence to answer as the affirmative it was.

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Nat. I know whatever happened, he knew what he was doing. And he did it for the greater good.”

“He—” Natasha tried to speak through the gumminess in her mouth, “he sacrificed himself. For the whole universe, Laura,” she said through sobs.

Natasha, world-renowned assassin and founding member of the motherfucking Avengers, hadn’t cried once she was a child, before the Red Room. And here she was, openly sobbing into the neck of her best friend’s wife. She’d never felt more like a child in her entire existence. And now  _ Laura  _ was comforting  _ her _ , not the other way around. Laura’s hands were rubbing soothing circles up and down Natasha’s back and she was shushing her. What kind of backward world?

“Where are the kids?” Natasha asked thickly.

“Playing upstairs. Why don’t we leave them for a while,” Laura suggested. “Can I get you a cup of coffee?”

“I’d love that,” Natasha agreed.

Laura fixed them both cups of coffee, just as sweet as Laura liked hers, and led them to the couch where she shucked her shoes and tucked her bare feet underneath her. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. She was being strong, just like the mom in her, but it didn’t make it any easier.

“So,” Laura said, putting on a brave face, “tell me everything.”

And so, Natasha did, doing her best not to outright sob the entire time.

Laura nodded along, asking appropriate questions at the appropriate times, and she cried when Natasha finally told her how Clint died. At the sound of their mother crying, the three children finally came downstairs. They climbed on her and Nat and asked what was wrong, clinging tightly.

Laura, ever the brave and wonderful woman, sniffled the whole time but was able to explain to Lila, Cooper, and even little Nathaniel. The kids were all crying, sniffling, and wiping their noses on their sleeves. Natasha could do nothing but hold close any of the kids who hugged her at that moment. And it almost felt like a family, like they were her kids. In the years she had known Clint, known Linda, watched them form their family, have kids, it had felt like the closest she would ever get to a real family. She had to push that feeling away, to be present for the kids. Nathaniel was so young; he was too young to even really understand mortality, but he was seeing all his family crying so he was clinging to Natasha’s neck, crying and snotting on her shirt. She just hugged him close.

That night, Laura put Nat up in the guest room next to the master, but she heard Laura sobbing through the wall. She wrestled with herself, back and forth, about whether or not she should go in there to comfort Laura. Finally, her own sadness won out and she tiptoed into their room. She whispered “hey” when the door creaked.

“Hi,” Laura croaked back as Natasha climbed into the bed behind her, arms wrapping to spoon.

“I didn’t realize how awful it would be without him in the bed with me,” Laura whispered and Nat couldn’t do anything but hug her tighter, pulling her flush against her front.

“I’m here,” Natasha whispered into Laura’s ear.

Laura shook in Natasha’s grip.

They both cried themselves to sleep that night.

Natasha let herself sleep longer than she usually would and in the morning woke to the smell of brewing coffee. She was making her way down the stairs to grab a cup when she heard the news playing in the living room. Laura was standing there, with her hand over her mouth, watching the tv that was showing a giant crater where the New Avengers Facility used to sit. Clips of the devastation, the alien ships and, the giant battle.

“Natasha…” Laura murmured when she saw her enter the room. “This is so much worse than I realized.”

“We handled it,” Natasha said, watching the screen distantly. “I was so focused on coming here; it kept me going.”

Just then, Tony’s face flashed up on the screen. Natasha didn’t have to hear what was being said; she knew.

“ _ Tony? _ ” Laura asked, coming to Natasha to hug close.

“He sacrificed himself,” Natasha whispered.

“He was a good man,” Laura said, squeezing Natasha.

“Most of the time,” Natasha said, mostly to amuse herself. “Hey, where is my phone? Did I even bring it in?”

She pulled away from Laura, remembering that she left it in the car. Barefoot and still in her sleep clothes, she ran out to the car and found the phone in the passenger seat. The battery was low but she could see there were a couple of missed calls and texts messages, all from Steve.

Natasha took several deep breaths and finally dialed Steve back. He picked up on the second ring.

“Nat, how are you?”

“As good as I can be. How are you?”

“I’m okay,” he said, his voice sounding a bit distant, “I took all the stones back. Everything...almost everything is good.”

“Are there, uh, are there funeral arrangements?”

“I’ll keep you posted. We’re not sure yet, but it’ll be soon. Where are you, anyway?”

“Missouri,” Natasha didn’t elaborate. She knew that Steve would know exactly what she meant.

“With Laura and the kids.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.”

“It’s good to hear your voice, Nat. After everything.”

“Yours too, Steve.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he said, and they hung up shortly after that.

Slowly, she moved back into the house, going right for the coffee pot. She looked right at it, staring, and all she could think of was Clint, how much he loved the stuff. She needed the caffeine so bad. She helped herself to a coffee mug, knowing exactly where it was, and drank it black. It wasn’t about pleasure at that point.

“Natasha?” came Laura’s voice from the threshold.

Natasha didn’t turn around. She didn’t think she could. She was thinking too much about Clint and she just wanted to hold Laura close, but she couldn’t reach out. Then, Laura’s hands were on Natasha’s hips. Laura could have said something then, could have said anything, but she said nothing at all. Just squeezed tighter. Natasha felt a warmth spread through her.

“Should we wake the kids up and get started on breakfast?” Laura finally suggested after a long moment of comfortable silence.

“That sounds great,” Natasha said, finishing her coffee, fighting off a small smile.

 

…

 

The funeral was small and intimate, held at Tony’s home in upstate New York. Natasha stood huddled with Laura and the kids, Steve and Sam and Bucky close by. She felt a warmth being surrounded by her family— _ all _ of her family, not just the Bartons.

Then, it was time for the wake, hugging on Pepper and eating finger foods. Morgan was mostly sitting and talking to Happy who looked like he really wasn’t sure what to do with a kid. Natasha had Nathaniel on her hip, even though he was getting pretty heavy. He still wanted to be held by Aunty Nat. Natasha was more than happy to be with him, getting him a plate of food first. She set him down to eat and was about to get her own plate when Steve came up to her. He was flanked by Sam and Bucky.

“Can we join you?”

“Fine by me,” she shrugged, “but you gotta ask him.” She nodded to Nathaniel. “Nate, do you mind if my friends hang out for a bit?”

Nate briefly looked up from his mac and cheese to assess the three men towering over him. He shrugged and went back to eating. Steve laughed and they all sat around Natasha and Nathaniel. At first, it was silent, but then Steve cleared his throat.

“Do you think I could speak to you outside for a minute?” he asked.

Natasha was surprised but nodded her head. She got up and eye Sam and Bucky.

“Can you two handle watching a kid?”

Bucky and Sam looked to each other, looking offended, and then back to Nat but said nothing. She snorted a small laugh but got up to follow Steve anyway. They stepped outside and upstate New York was beautiful. The weather was perfect and the trees were beautiful. Natasha took a second to marvel at her surroundings.

“You know you’re my best friend, right?” Steve asked after a moment of soaking up the scenery.

Natasha felt a slight jolt in her at that. She never considered that she could ever be someone else’s best friend. Instead of commenting, she just nodded.

“I need to tell you something I haven’t told anyone else. Not even Sam or Bucky.”

“Okay,” she encouraged him to continue.

“I went back to 1970 last. I saw Peggy again. I did it on purpose. I thought, for just a few seconds, ‘what if I stay?’ But then...I thought about you, I thought about Sam, and how much I love him, about Bucky, and I couldn’t do it. But I needed to tell someone, that I thought about it.”

Natasha nodded. “I’m glad you didn’t stay.” She pulled him into a hug.

He hugged her tightly, maybe a little too tightly, but she didn’t say anything. “Me too,” he said. “I would have missed you way too much.”

Natasha pulled back then, cocking an eyebrow. “So, you and Sam, huh?”

Steve turned away from her, but not enough for her to miss the pink blush across his cheeks. “Yeah.” he scratched the back of his head and shrugged.

“He’s a great guy, Steve. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” he smiled.

She didn’t know what to do with the information that he almost stayed, but she truly was grateful that he didn’t. She wasn’t sure how she could handle him and Clint being gone.

 

…

 

That night, they got a family suite at their hotel so the kids could have their own room and Laura shared a king-sized bed with Natasha. It was so comfortable, felt so right. Natasha was exhausted from the day, exhausted from the kids, and the emotions of a funeral, but settling into a big soft bed with Laura next to her and the kids in the other room, she felt right. Well, almost right. There was still the giant, gaping hole that was Clint. His absence was tangible in the room but still, Laura and Natasha being together was a balm on the wound.

“Let’s go to bed” Laura murmured, turning over in bed so that she was facing Natasha.

Natasha didn’t have to be told twice. She clicked off the bedside lamp and snuggled down into the bed on her back. Laura snaked her arms around Natasha. Natasha felt frozen for a second. She wanted to turn in Laura’s arms and hold her back.

“Can I hold you?” Natasha asked.

“Yes, please,” Laura’s voice was so sleepy, but Natasha turned over and faced Laura.

Laura didn’t hesitate to lean up and kiss Natasha on the lips.

“Thank you for being here,” she said.

“Of course,” Natasha murmured back, her lips still tingling from the kiss.

“I have to go to bed now. See you in the morning.”


End file.
